It’s been 6-1/2 weeks since my little argument with Ace “Bonecruncher” Wheelbarrow, resulting in his, well, crunching the biggest bone in my body.  I have assiduously followed the medicos directions ever since, including ZERO weight on that leg, to keep from loosening the mondo lag bolts pinning the hip ball together while the bone fuses, and undertaken twice daily exercises to retain muscle mass and improve the range of motion.   I have been pleasantly surprised at the progress, frankly I expected it to hurt a lot more and for a lot longer.  Still I cannot recommend breaking your hip just for the fun of it.

Over the past three weeks I have been spending the majority of most days up in the studio.  Admittedly, the accomplishments have been modest and slow, as you might expect when the allowable motive force is restricted to one leg while holding on to a geezer-style walker with two hands.  To tell you the truth, mostly what I was doing was just cleaning up and being somewhere other than the recliner in the living room, and if nothing else the constant slow movement was good for both my hip and my psyche.

Today was the long anticipated return to the orthopedist’s, and the result was as I had hoped.  After x-rays I went to the examining room where he first manipulated my good leg to get a point of reference regarding the hip function, then he grabbed my bad leg and did the same, instructing me to stop him when it hurt.

I had no reason to stop him.  Its healing and flexibility are excellent, and I told him I didn’t actually feel anything as he was yanking my leg around.  He smiled and said that was the answer he loves to hear.  He said the pictures looked perfect, and that I was to return for a final exam in two months.

In short, he has released me to “resume normal activities as tolerable,” including moving with the use of a pair of crutches ($1.99 at Goodwill) and a single cane to ease myself into bipedal perambulation over the next few weeks.  I will be rotating amongst the three walking aids for the near future before becoming entirely comfortable with freestanding, um, free standing.

As I took my first gentle steps this afternoon I noted the oddity of the sensation.  For starters, since I have placed no weight on the skeletal structure of my right leg it has all loosened up in the past six weeks, so there is a weird “loose” feeling when I put any weight there, with the hip, knee, and foot all wobbly.  Not painful nor uncomfortable, just weird.  And second, it is amazing how weak the leg feels.  A few gentle steps and it feels worn out.  It will take at least a couple of months at least to get my full strength and stamina back, but the road has been mapped out.

He noted with some humor at the change in the comparative muscularity of the two thighs; my left thigh is probably 5% more robust while my right thigh is 10% less.  This is with a rigorous exercise regimen!  And don’t even talk about gluteus maximus.  My right glute has almost disappeared, making sitting a challenge sometimes, especially on the hard chairs at Sunday Night Bible Study if I forget my pillow.  Thanks to the loan of a primo pillow, riding in the car is no more uncomfortable than it was before the accident.

The only long-term downside of the adventure, more from the orthopedist’s point of view than from mine, was that no one managed to film the original incident.  The Doc said it must have been hilarious in super slo-mo.  I’m guessing he was right.